I feel that I did have some pretty impressive driving test failures (none, sadly, that required the test to be stopped on 'Health and Safety grounds' - when this happens, the examiner gets out of the car and you have to walk back to the test centre with them as they aren't allowed to drive the car and you are too dangerous to. I'd imagine this would be just a wee bit mortifying.):
- Test number 1 - two majors. Both because I didn't look behind me when I was reversing during the test (and also because I almost hit a pedestrian when I was reversing at the very end of the test). The examiner actually said 'Did you not see that person?!', to which I couldn't decide which was the better answer - 'Yes, I was trying to hit him' or 'No, I don't look behind me when I reverse'. Needless to say, a big fat FAIL.
- Test number 2 - one major. Stupid, fucking, bane of my life 'unmarked crossroads'. I accidently, instead of stopping at one, accelerated towards it. This caused my examiner to SLAM on the brakes and do an emergency stop, it was this that gave me the clue that I had failed for a second time.
- Test number 3 - PASS. Despite, whilst reversing round a corner, I managed to go onto the other side of the road, I still passed. They must have felt sorry for me or something.
This does bring me to a most amusing incident I saw last night when walking to work. I saw a car which was parked at the side of the road start to reverse (as if to get enough room to pull away) towards a car that was about 3 metres behind it. The only problem is, the person was revesing as if she was trying to escape from some kind of crazed axe murderer chasing her car from the front, and consequently (and I could see what would happen, but was powerless to stop it) she SMASHED into the car behind... unfortunately, there was someone sitting in the car behind, and MAN he didn't look too pleased (or sound) too pleased.
It's at time like these I think it's probably for the best that I haven't driven a car, as I can picture me in situations as above or like Thelma and Loiuse:
